


Imperium

by Muetkleidchen



Category: Metal Gear
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-04
Updated: 2016-07-04
Packaged: 2018-07-21 14:39:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7391215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Muetkleidchen/pseuds/Muetkleidchen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Man serves the interests of no creature except himself. And among us animals let there be perfect unity, perfect comradeship in the struggle"</p><p>Solid comes to talk to Master Miller about his relationship with Big Boss but is greeted a little differently than usual.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Imperium

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry! This is literally my first fic in years.
> 
> AU-ish; Eventual David/Kaz; mentions of BBKaz

Snake knocked at the door in front of him, waiting for a response. It came a few moments later with a grumble from a man he knew was most likely immersed in his work. With audible affirmation, he opened the door slowly.

“Good evening, Master Miller.” He dipped his head, stepping inside.

Snake glanced at the man seated behind his desk and almost smiled (almost). The man was of average height and sharp handsome features, though he has to be (at least) in his 40’s by now. Right? He has blond hair that was swept over his shoulder in a low ponytail and dark sunglasses, always sunglasses. Snake had never seen the man’s eyes but a few times.

Snake was definitely right in his assumptions, the man was hard at work, barely taking notice of the young man in front of him. This wasn’t unusual in their encounters lately. Snake was one for quiet company and so was the blond man in front of him.

“Can I help you, David?” the man didn’t even give so much as a look. He was in a bad mood lately and didn’t want these damn kids to get in his way.

“Yes, Sir.”

The man sighed and threw his pen down forcefully. “What do you want, David.” It wasn’t a question so much as a demand.

“Uh, you see, Sir…” David had barely moved. Only enough to throw his hands behind his back in a gesture of respect.

“Then might I ask you to get the fuck out of my office, David.” Master Miller, ever so eloquently.

“Well, sir, I did come to ask something…” David trailed clumsily.

“Pray then, what do you need ask, kid? I don’t have time right now, it’s late and I’ve got things to take care of, so spill it.” The man stated clearly and threateningly. He really didn’t have time to deal with this kid right now. Why did he even agree to deal with any of these kids anyway.

“You see, sir…I might have found something.” David stumbled more, his face growing slightly red, his hands wringing behind his back, still at parade rest. “David…” Miller began, shaking his head and adjusting his glasses needlessly.

“Stand at ease, please. I can’t deal with you kids when you stand like that in here….” The young man relaxed visibly. He adjusted his body a little more comfortably, running his fingers slightly through his unruly brown hair and clasped his hands in front of him.

“Do you mind if I spend some time in here, Master?” Miller smiled slightly,

“No, not at all…but, what do you really want from me, David?”

“I had a few questions, Master. Plus, I think I’ve found something and I needed to ask.”

“Yes, you’ve already said that. What about?”

“About him, Master.” The man froze. He knew exactly who the boy in front of him was referring to. Miller sighed again and took off his glasses, closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose. It was late and he shouldn’t even be in here. He should be at home, asleep! And so should David for that matter, they needed to be up at 0430 for PT.

David stood nervously, switching his weight from one foot to the other. David wasn’t even sure what brought him here anymore. He thought it was a good idea. He just wanted to understand better.

“I changed my mind, get out...” Miller whispered. He opened his eyes finally and Snake was visibly taken aback. Miller never showed his students emotions like this. Snake could tell the man was tired, he could see a mix of hurt, betrayal and was that longing? No, he had to be mistaken.

“Mast-“

“Get the fuck out of my office, David.” Tearing his eyes from Snake, he turned his chair away slightly, grabbing his sunglasses and folded them in his lap. He was hoping the kid just left it at that. Snake didn’t budge, though. He wasn’t going to leave until he got his questions answered. He was a little worried however, he had never seen Master Miller act like this. He was always so stern and harsh. Deep down, though, David knew he was a softie. “

That was an order.” Miller knew the kid hadn’t left, knew he wouldn’t leave even if he threatened him. It was worth a shot…

“I know, sir.” David couldn’t tear his eyes from his Master. He had some new found resolve somewhere deep inside and he wasn’t going anywhere. Still Miller hadn’t turned around. He couldn’t. He couldn’t face the kid head on. Why was he still calling David a kid, he was a young man now. How old was he now, anyway? He couldn’t remember, it’s been that long already…?

“Did Eva put you up to this, David? I swear if she did, I’m going to kick her fucking-“

“No, Sir!” He was torn from his thoughts again as he protested to defend his ‘mother’.

“I’m just wondering why you never talk about him.” Miller scoffs loudly, he smirks and turns his head farther away. The room is too big all of a sudden. How is that possible in such a tiny office like this? he wonders.

“I don’t need to talk, David…” Miller trailed miserably. His eyes are tearing up. He’s got to get this kid out before he regrets it. “It’s getting late and you have class in the morning, you shou-”

“Master, please! I found some photo and I think you were in them. Everyone else tells stories about him but you.“ David says it so fast and hurriedly he barely catches it from his mouth. He couldn’t take it back now.

The color in Millers face drains and the air goes cold around him and suddenly it’s hard to breath. That’s strange, he thinks. He can’t breathe. His breathing is fast and rapid and he isn’t sure what to do anymore. He isn’t getting enough oxygen. These always happen when he thought about him, didn’t they? Just breathe, Miller…

“Master…? Are you-”

“ _GET_ -“ He’s wheezing now. “ _OUT_.” He’s shuddering and shaking and he can’t stop. All he can think about is him now. How happy they once were…? Together. _Them_ against the world. Once upon a time. All he could think about was _Big Boss_. There love was always doomed, wasn’t it? Snake is stunned and he isn’t sure what the do. He’s watching his mentor have what seems to be a nervous breakdown. He just wanted answers, it was all his fault.

He ignored Miller’s outburst, “Master, please…calm down.” Carefully, David walked around the desk to put a comforting hand on Miller’s shoulder.

“Sir, let me help you! It’s going to be fine.”

“Get your hand off of me, Boss! It’s not fine. It never was!!” Miller swatted David’s hand away with his prosthetic – cold hand. He was too far-gone. He’s talking too fast and Solid’s voice sounded just like Big Boss’s in that instant. He hadn’t even realized he slipped up. It was reflexive. Just like every argument with Snake had been. But he’s too broken, now. What a worthless piece of self-loathing garbage...

David flinched from the action. “Boss..? I’m not-“ David mentally cursed himself. Of course. David was always good at fucking things up like this. He had to make sure Master Miller was all right. Had to bring him back to reality.

“Master, it’s _me_ …” David tried weakly. He stood awkwardly next to his mentor.

“Please, Master! It’s David. I just came to make sure you were alright…I just wanted to talk, I didn’t mean to-“ He stuck his hands up in a gesture of mock defeat. He was already beating himself up over the fact he was having a panic attack in front of a ‘ _student_ ’ but to have him help, too. And that outburst about _him_. He needed to calm down. Just breathe. Breath. _1…2…3… breathe_. That’s all he needed to do. Focus, dammit!

Miller was visibly trying to slow his breathing. The way he was watching his mentor act, it was like David wasn’t even there. He could tell it wasn’t far from an uncommon occurrence. A few moments later, Miller threw his head in his hands and took deep breaths. His glasses left forgotten on the ground haphazardly.

David’s face was written with clear worry for the man and he stood by and watched helplessly. Miller was a strong man, he never saw such anguish and terror in him. It confirmed his thoughts all along…he had clearly meant something to his mentor. Miller rubbed at his face, tiredly. He was getting much too old for this. He needed to retire. Miller shooed the boy away with his good hand.

“You don’t need to hover, David. Sit down.” He bent down carefully, fetching his glasses from the floor, inspecting them meticulously.

Without a word, he walked over to the small leather chair adjacent to the desk and sat nervously with his hands clasped together in his lap.

“I’m so sorry, Sir,” He began. “I didn’t mean to-“ Snake looked at his mentor with obvious concern all over his face.

“It’s fine. I was long overdue anyway…” Miller sighed, defeated. He began to clear his desk, quietly.

“I didn’t mean to scare you.” He smiled wryly. “It was my fault, Sir.” He tore his gaze away and watched Miller file his papers neatly and set his sunglasses on top.

“Stop apologizing.”

“Y-Yes, Sir!”

“We're going to start over. Tell me why you’re _really_ here, kid.” Miller leaned back as casually as he could. It was a rhetorical statement, really. He knew the answer. He just needed to be sure he heard correctly the first time.

“I just found some things at home, Sir. I just wanted to know and make sure…” He was stalling. Why was this so hard the second time?

“I found some tapes and an old photo.” He started again. “I heard his voice and yours, too. I just wanted to know what he was to you…I wanted to know more about him…” There. He said it. Innocent enough.

David wasn’t sure how Miller was going to take this, but he hoped that it was better than moments earlier. It was silent and David avoided making eye contact just yet.

“You know, what…never mind, I can just leave, Sir. It’s getting late and I-“ It was then that he glanced up. Miller’s pale eyes were teary; he’s visibly trying to hold them back, swallowing hard.

He continued, “You look a lot like him.”

“Is that why…you only call me David when we're together?” He asked so quietly. He knew the answer, already.

“Yeah…”

David nods, not really knowing what’s left to do. In all of his meetings with Kaz he hadn’t shown this much flux in emotion. Everything about Master Miller was calculated and collected. He showed exactly what he wanted you to see. He was there picking David’s brain. Trying to make him think. Going above and beyond his comfort zone both in academics and his combat.

They sat in silence, unsure how to proceed. Miller clearly wasn’t going to talk without probing. Fuck this, it was getting too late and he was clearly wasting his time. He'll try again another day.

“I think it’s best I leave, Master. As you know, I’ve got PT in the morning. I apologize for the intrusion.” With clear resolve he stood quickly and waited for a response from Miller. Kaz blinked out of whatever reverie he was in and nodded, hardly listening.

He watched, as David seemed content with that answer and reached for the door. He unlocked it slowly, expecting Miller to stop him but was only met with a quiet but steely voice.

_“Man serves the interests of no creature except himself.”_

David continues through and the door shut softly. Miller reaches behind his desk for his hidden bottle of whiskey and a small glass. He pours the golden liquid and downs it fast, almost like it was water. His throat burns with the contact and he clears his throat. One of those kinds of nights. Shit, usually he makes it home before he drinks himself into oblivion. 

He's lost in thought when the phone beside his desk rings. He jumps, eyeing the device wildly. Who the fuck would call him at this hour? He picks it up after four rings and puts it to his ear and takes a deep breath and before he can say anything he is greeted with a familiar gravely voice.

“Animal Farm…. _really_ , Kaz?”

**Author's Note:**

> I have others but I'm too nervous to post them yet. I've had this sitting on my computer for literally a year and I'm just so sick of looking at it. I swear though, I'm going somewhere with this and I will probably continue. You're all more than welcome to leave comments! Please let me know if you have suggestions or anything, I'm always open!!


End file.
